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Sewer Mutants Aside, A Long Movie

In Francis Lawrence’s “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay — Part 2,” the audience gets a really long movie to go along with the really long title.

How long is long? Two hours and 17 minutes. 

The film is a sequel, and there is no concern for anyone who is not au courant with the adventures of Catnip, I mean Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson), and the most eee-vil man to ever wear a brocaded silk dressing gown, President Snow (Donald Sutherland).

There’s also a bit of Philip Seymour Hoffman as Plutarch Heavensbee, who specializes in looking wryly amused, and Woody Harrelson looking like the late Kurt Cobain.

Let us stay out of the weeds and just leave it that the revolution is almost complete; all that is needed is the final assault on the capital of Panem and knocking off the Prez.

So Katniss and the gang set off on their perilous mission. It’s perilous because they must carefully pick their way through the ruined streets, being wary of the the unusually nasty traps set. 

It’s perilous because no matter how careful they are, they set off the nasty traps.

It’s perilous because the TV keeps coming on to remind them of the peril.

And it gets really perilous when they are forced to go through the sewer system.

Because in addition to the unpleasant flotsam and jetsam one expects in sewers, there are: Fast-Moving Fang-Toothed Slimy Sewer Mutants!

I really perked up when the Sewer Mutants made their appearance. They swarm over the victims, but I’m not sure if they have eyes. Big teeth they have, though, and they screech. The Sewer Mutants are really exceptional.

Unfortunately, screeching mutants don’t have a lot of lines, so in relatively short order the peril has passed and they are off to the palace to kill Snow.

There’s a not-so-surprising surprise at the end, and a resolution of the romantic angle which I won’t spoil.

The film is shot in blue, like the old Kodak Ektachrome slide film, except for the sappy ending, which looks like old Kodak Kodachrome slide film (warm and yellow). As a stand-alone film “Mockingjay Part Two” fails — it’s more like a final episode of a television series. I attended the sneak preview show at the Moviehouse, along with approximately 300 13-year-old girls.

They liked it.

I liked the Sewer Mutants. The remaining 132 minutes were pretty tedious.

So, if you’re fan, you’ve already seen it and do not care one teeny bit what I think. If you are not familiar with the story, don’t start here.

And if you are a fan of movie monsters and don’t mind sitting through a whole lot of plot, by all means go for the Sewer Mutants.

“The Hunger Games Mockingly — Part 2” is Rated PG-13 for violence. It is playing widely.

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