A mother’s concerns for her child’s first day in school, in-person, ever

WEBUTUCK — Long before COVID-19 was declared a global pandemic, I was amazed by how closely parenthood encouraged parents to examine the world in relation to their child’s health and safety. 

For not quite two years now, I’ve observed school districts and families adapt to life during the pandemic, reassessing their plans and contending with issues like whether to wear masks — all while keeping their child’s well-being in mind. 

Most children had experienced attending school in-person before COVID-19 hit — but a few children have only known school through remote learning.

I recently sat down with Wassaic resident Rebekah Purdy and her daughter, Lilliana, who started kindergarten at Webutuck Elementary School last fall. Like many children across the globe, Lilliana, 6, attended her classes remotely last year while her parents — Purdy and her fiancee Bryant Nelson — closely followed the North East (Webutuck) Central School District’s guidelines. 

A workspace was cleared in their home for Lilliana’s schooling, and every morning, Purdy watched Lilliana’s love of learning take flight. Purdy said she was happy to see her daughter share the same excitement she felt about school when she was younger.

As a stay-at-home mom, Purdy saw the benefits of remote instruction. She didn’t have to worry about her daughter catching the coronavirus or not keeping her face mask on or any other millions of details. 

Since COVID-19 hit our shores, Purdy said she and Nelson have been very open and candid with Lilliana about the virus and why it’s important to wear a mask. Calling it “The Sickness,” Lilliana learned first hand why it’s important to stay safe and wear a mask after seeing her 10-year-old cousin, Kiean, become severely ill from COVID-19 in March.

Of course, there were some challenges the couple had to navigate. Along with not being able to ride the school bus last year, Purdy said Lilliana was sad she couldn’t play with her new friends. Though she had the benefit of having 13 cousins of different age groups, she was often lonely.

While her teachers were helpful in giving the children time after class to play together online, it didn’t replace one-on-one physical interactions. 

There was also the matter of making sure Lilliana was mindful of the rules of appropriate classroom behavior. This led to an ample amount of emotional navigation between mother and daughter as Lilliana learned what was and was not acceptable behavior.

On Tuesday, Sept. 7, Lilliana will start first grade at Webutuck Elementary School, marking her first time ever stepping foot into a school building. To prepare her daughter, Purdy said they’ve been practicing the new morning routine so that Lilliana knows what needs to be done before boarding the bus.

Asked what her main concerns are about sending Lilliana to school in-person after a year of remote learning, Purdy considered the new challenges her daughter will face as she adjusts to a new routine. 

Instead of a half-day focused mainly on play, she’ll be in class the whole day while wearing a mask. Affirming her support for wearing masks in school, Purdy has already ordered a supply of disposable masks and is now perfecting hairstyles to keep the mask off Lilliana’s ears and make wearing it more comfortable.

Another challenge, Purdy said, will be having Lilliana eat her lunch at a reasonable time and to not “lollygag.” 

Though worried about her daughter not listening to her teachers and getting upset for being reprimanded, Purdy considered this part of the social-emotional development Lilliana missed out on last year.

All the same, Purdy recognizes that these are lessons Lilliana will have to navigate herself and that there’s only so much she can do as a parent.

Knowing her daughter is anxious about going to school in-person, Purdy said she has told Lilliana that it’s OK to be nervous about new things and encouraged her not to let her nerves dampen her excitement.

While she’ll always be there to guide and advise her daughter, Purdy said, “She is her own person — she has to make her own discoveries for better or worse.”