Lakeville vigil remembers domestic violence victims, calls for change

LAKEVILLE — The names of 23 Connecticut residents, ages 1 to 83, killed in relationship violence in the past year were read aloud during Project SAGE’s candlelight vigil Thursday evening, Oct. 8.

After each name, the speaker said, “We speak their name,” and the crowd responded, “We remember their name.”

About 60 people gathered for the vigil, which honored those killed in the past year and called for change in the attitudes and behaviors that enable abuse.

Virginia Gold, Project SAGE’s director of client services, spoke about Carrie Stetson, who was killed in Winsted in June by her estranged husband. Stetson ran the Railroad Cafe at Geer Village in North Canaan and in Winsted.

“Carrie did everything right,” Gold said. “It wasn’t enough.”

Stetson’s husband, Leon Stetson, was arrested and charged with murder, home invasion and violation of a protective order. He remains in jail, with his next court date scheduled for Oct. 27.

“No single action is enough,” Gold told the gathering. “Change doesn’t work that way.”

While organizations such as Project SAGE provide practical help to victims of relationship violence, Gold said, their broader mission is to change conventional attitudes about power and control. Events such as the vigil contribute to that work incrementally.

Lindsay Dombrovsky and Janay Gregory attend the vigil to raise awareness and show support for survivors. Madi Long

The evening began at Cannon Park, at the intersection of Main Street and Sharon Road, where participants received small packets of red sand.

Kristen Pratt, operations manager of the Red Sand Project, explained that the participatory art project raises awareness of people who fall through the cracks, including those affected by relationship violence and human trafficking.

She led participants in pouring the bright red sand into cracks in the sidewalk.

“It illuminates something we often overlook,” Pratt said.

She reinforced the message by writing “No One Should Fall Between the Cracks” in chalk on the sidewalk.

Participants then walked to Project SAGE’s headquarters at 13A Porter St. The Lakeville nonprofit supports victims and survivors and works to end interpersonal relationship violence.

Executive Director Kristen Van Ginhoven said Project SAGE holds the vigil each October alongside similar organizations nationwide. She described the emotional demands of the work as holding “joy and grief, side by side.”

Gold thanked attendees for being “a witness to the power of community and hope.”

Project SAGE board chair Tom Connell closed with a message about the importance of their participation.

“Your presence here is the sound of hope,” he said. “It’s a reminder of what it means to show up and work for change.”